The Phase Inc

Time will heal. Or perhaps, not. I have realized that there are wounds that remain untouched and staying forever in the deepest corners of my heart. The part of my heart I don’t want to acknowledge exists; I bury everything that has caused me pain deep within and refuse to remember. Yet, they leave scars. Although these scars are unseen by the world, they never truly fade. I see them every time I open my shirt, and they haunt my thoughts and soul. Most of the time, I don’t really remember what happened a week ago or two days ago. But when I recall the pain I felt years ago, it remains crystal clear in my mind. Every time I remember it, my eyes start to tear up, and once again, I start to blame myself. It is funny to think how words can heal me easily. At the same time, it could also hurt me so damn bad until I bleed within. I hear people say that I’m useless more often than I hear them say they’re proud of me. Always a “You can do better next time,” never a “Thank you for doing your be...

  I pretend I’ve got my shit together, but I’m a mess. My life feels like falling apart. As I’ve walked through life and grown from child to adult, it feels like the world has fallen apart. The lightness and joy I used to feel, disappeared. I smile at everyone and always keep my head up high. But when I’m alone, I’m crying. From the outside, my life seems wonderful. I have many close friends. I have a family that loves me. I have a warm home. But inside, I feel despair, loneliness, and a lack of meaning. I hate myself for that. I try to be a good person. I offer my help to people in need and always have an open ear for everyone. I eat healthy, exercise, don’t drink often, and get enough sleep. And yet, I feel miserable. I have mental illnesses and everything hurts, but I don’t want to die necessarily. I want to live. But not like this. I don’t see a way out. I don’t see light at the end of the tunnel. I will keep smiling at everyone, and I will keep my head up high. And when I’m al...